


from ruins, I rise

by Cherrydragon26



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Child Abandonment, Gen, Isolation, Loneliness, Survival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:38:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18456032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherrydragon26/pseuds/Cherrydragon26
Summary: What if Rey's parents hadn't left her on Jakku, but instead on Endor? What if instead of living in ruins of an AT-AT Rey lives in ruins of the second Death Star?





	from ruins, I rise

**Author's Note:**

> Got the idea from Episode IX trailer (if you hadn't figured that out already).  
> All mistakes are my own, if you see them point them out, but be civil about them.
> 
> I don't own Star Wars it belongs to Disney now.

I look up at the sky again. It is my third time that day, but not the last. I will probably look two more times before I go to sleep or half-sleep, as I sometimes like to call it. I rarely fear for my life or am in danger from some predator here, however it is always good to be prepared. I am living in a forest, in the wild, where I am completely alone and have only myself to turn to so I could survive. Since my parents left me all alone on this desolate planet, full of life, but empty of any people, I have fended for myself and protected only myself for a long time. In the beginning I was still hoping that they will one day return and bring me with them to a much happier place, to a small city or village populated with humans, aliens, droids, and many more....

However that never came to pass. I still count days, hours, minutes since I became all alone, but I know it won't change. I still have a sliver of hope, that maybe I was wrong, that they haven't forgotten about me, that they are alive and will return. All these thoughts however are at the back of my mind. Because I have more important things to do during the day, and during night I have to be on guard. It doesn't happen often, but they are nocturnal animals around, and you can never be sure, if they will pick you as their next victim. You always have to be prepared, have to be on your guard, all your senses alert, your eyes, ears and nose working perfectly, and your arms and legs uninjured and always ready for a fight.

It's how life works here. It's how it thrives, moves, evolves, dies. It's just how things are. It's the law, the most important rule that if forgotten will cost you your life. I have learned it and accepted it. I never thought too deep into it, never dwelled on it, because then I would lose precious time. Time I don't have if I want to survive. That's why even if I am all alone, I always keep myself busy. It helps me to survive, and also stops me from thinking. Thinking about myself, this situation, about life, about death, about time.....  _About my future._

The future that doesn't exist, the future that is spent without anyone else. The future that is black and grim and devoid of all hope and happiness. Just full of sadness and pain, loneliness, sheer determination to live, to eat, to sleep..... The future without anyone here. Or there. Or anywhere else. Just me, myself and my own thoughts all wrapped up into one lonely cocoon, that won't become a butterfly in the end. Oh, no I will stay the same. Completely same, except maybe some changes that makes my body taller, stronger, faster, more agile. But not more beautiful. Here on this world beauty doesn't mean anything. And it never will.

That's why I work on myself every day, because I know that it will make a difference. Maybe even as soon as tomorrow. Because in this eternal fight of life and death, a second can finish it or start it all. Can swift or change anything, from a small insect to the largest predator. Sometimes I wish I was really the only living being on this planet. Sometimes I scorn the very thought of it, because then I would know what true isolation is. And I don't know if I ever want to experience that. That is one deep black hole that no one should dig into it, or explore it. It would destroy them. It would destroy anyone, without remorse, or guilt. It would swallow them whole, from head to toe, never letting them go, never letting their soul be free.

An eternal darkness, where you are blind, even if you aren't. I don't think anyone wants to visit that place. Although humans were always too curious for their own good. Many have visited the darkness. Some succeeded at escaping it, some never could, some never wanted to. But however you finished, no one was unchanged. There are some things that people should never see, experience, however they still do. And it brakes them or makes them. Stronger, faster, smarter, anything else they need to be so they could survive. You could cover or run away from your problems or weaknesses or you can face them head on, fight them, accept them.

That is why the first time I felt that darkness, I was surprised. But not really. It was brewing, and brewing inside me, and I knew it could burst at any time. And when it did, it was hard to contain it. I didn't know what was worse. The hate I felt towards my parents that abandon me, the fear for my life and my future, or the wish that it could all just end, as quickly and as painlessly as possible. That week I had the most bruises and cuts than any weeks before then. It was living hell, and I had to work hard to get out of it. In the end what helped me settle it, was a fight to my almost-death with the biggest creature on the planet. Or at least the biggest I have seen so far.

It was a fight to remember, the one I dream of, and always wake up frightened and sweaty. My worst nightmare. And my biggest lesson to date. In that fight I learned everything I needed to survive. About the world, about my enemy, about myself. I accepted it all, analyzed it, and used it in combat. It was a hard won battle, that I am most proud of. There wasn't a moment in my life that was quite like it. Then and there I understood what I had to do and did it, without hesitation or reservation. In that moment I had truly and fully accepted myself. My whole being, my desires, my thoughts, my dreams. All my darkness within. And all my darkness outside.

+++

Sometimes I wonder where the hell am I. Sometimes I wonder what those small fury bear-like creatures are. What are they called, and other stuff. Because of many encounters I had with them, I can mostly understand them, but not enough. Still not enough. Never enough. And I mean when my parents left me, they never told me where. And I don't have who to ask here. And I never will. So I am left with only questions and no answers. In the end I decided I will call it a Green Planet (because if there is anything on this planet, green things like tress and bushes sure are). Greeny or Planet G for short. Hell planet or This-damn-karking-planet when I am feeling especially bad.

I also find myself wondering and thinking about these ruins I live in. From the moment I saw them, they seemed familiar. And they still do, although I gave up trying to remember long ago. What is it made of, what was it used for, when was it made? All these questions and more appear and disappear in my head, more times than I can count. Unfortunately only speculation is what I can do, and it sometimes fills my days up more than anything else. I may act like I am always busy, but  reality is a totally different matter. I use it to amuse myself, to fend off the boredom and bring a bit of colour in my life. Even if the ruins are totally devoid of any colour except black and gray. Mostly gray.

Whatever it was used for it must have been magnificent. The sheer size of it, the power it emits, the fear it exists inside it, the anger. The first time I stumbled upon it, I was too afraid to go near it. It oozed like a corpse, it reeked of something foul and bad. It gave me shivers and nightmares, it freaked the hell out of me. With passing time, that slowly changed and I found myself comfortably living inside it more than outside. It had everything I needed and more, so it made a perfect hideout, shelter and finally a home like no other on this planet. It became mine and that is how it will stay.

The feelings I felt from it were hard to deal with at first, but later on I got used to it. After the fight I embraced them and I felt more powerful than ever before. It was surely a completely new feeling to me, because I never felt that way. At least not until then. I never felt enough, never felt desired, never felt skilled or worth anything in my life. Just a damn stupid girl, without anything in this world, fighting to survive, and living her measly life like a trash she is. My self confidence was zero, and my world was empty.

And then, then I felt it.... I craved it...... I could finally want, need, I finally felt alive, felt strong, felt like I had something. Felt like I was finally worth something, like I could finally have everything I need. Like I finally had freedom I always wanted. Like I had everything in the palm of my hand, in my grasp was the world and in my mind was the universe. 

I got the wings I needed to fly, I got the courage I needed to admit to myself what I am. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. After everything I could only sigh in relief. I could finally be me. I could finally be myself.

From these ruins of this powerful past to my present, I can now rise to the challenge.

+++

It started out like any other normal, boring day in my life, but it hadn't quite finish like one. I felt something. Something completely different than ever before. I didn't know if I should face it or run. Did it want to eat me? Did it mean me any harm? Or maybe it was friendly? Maybe it wanted something from me? Well, I wouldn't be Rey if I ran away. Since I got my courage back, my own self, I claimed my name yet again. On this planet names weren't important, but my own name was. It made me who I was, it made me who I am. 

Soon after I had felt it, I saw something in the horizon. It made me feel a bit nostalgic, when I remembered how before I always looked up, among the clouds, waiting for a miracle. Now I would have missed it, if I didn't have this power inside me. I still haven't investigated the full potential of it, I still don't know what can I do with it. But I know enough to bring damage upon those that deserve it. I am not afraid. So while I was looking at this vehicle descending I wasn't afraid of it. I was afraid of possibilities it could bring. It flew down a couple of paces away from me, while I waited patiently to see what it has brought to me.

The doors opened, a being steeped out, and I found myself surprised at the mere sight of it. The thing was human. It was a person, someone like me, who came here. I got the feeling it came here for me, and my instincts are rarely wrong. A black costume, dress or garment (whatever), obscured the human's face, and I couldn't identify who it is. But I wasn't worried if it wants to show himself to me, the person will. A black cape was flowing on the wind, the figure coming closer. I eyed it wearily, and clutched my weapon tightly. Even if the stranger didn't feel like danger, it didn't matter. The law is to always be prepared. So I am. Even when it is not necessary.

The person took the hood of, and it was the first time I could see it's face. It was a tall male, with black hair and a scar on his face. He stopped near me, and extended his hand, like he was beconing me to come closer. I didn't move from my spot. This is it. I knew this man will change my life, if I accept his proposal he is making. I narrowed his eyes at him. Could it be a trap? Did I really know what he offered to me? No, no I didn't. I didn't know the full extent of his offered hand in alliance, that could cost me everything, or bring everything to me. 

Is it worth it? Is it worth abandoning my only home I have known for almost all my life? Is it worth it leaving this planet and never coming back? Leaving my daily life, my comforting and familiar routine? Is it really all worth it? For promises of possible powers, wealth or fame? Do I even want anything like that? I looked into his eyes, trying and failing at finding deceit or a sham. Or a mistake. 

This man before me was none of those things. And he didn't look for me for those reasons either. I looked even harder, trying to decide what is a truth and what is a lie. When I got the answer, I gave him a wicked smile and took a step forward. Then another, and another, until I was close enough to hear him breathe and his heart thump in his chest. I eyed his outstretched hand, and clasped it firmly with my own. There were no words spoken, no thoughts shared. I only inquired one thing from him through the power I had (surprisingly he had it too), through my head.

He smiled at me then and gave me what I wanted. "I see I didn't go wrong by coming here. You surely didn't disappoint me. My name is Kylo Ren, and I came here to pick you up and ask of you to join me. Do you accept?". I was silent for a time, making it seem like I was thinking it over. I didn't really. I knew already what my answer would be. But I wanted to play this game, to see how he reacts, how he copes with it. And then finally when I was satisfied with the silence, I answered slowly and measuredly. It was hard and my throat hurt from the attempt. My voice sounded grating, and unused which was true. However it rang with authority and finality, I knew he didn't expect and would be surprised by it. But that is how you survive in the wild. By surprising your opponent.

"Rey. My name is Rey. And I accept your offer".

 


End file.
